Ambiverts

“Sometimes social, sometimes solitary, not an Introvert, not an Extrovert, you may be an Ambivert.”

In respect to introverts and extroverts, most humans are like batteries. An introvert is one who needs down time to recharge, especially after spending time with a large amount of people. An extrovert is like a solar powered battery: it draws energy from being in the spotlight and feeds off the companionship of other people.

The vintage characteristic of an introvert isn’t necessarily being shy, it’s just that they don’t extract enough energy from the surroundings as the extroverts do. This has got to do with our brains.

“A study in 2012 completed by Randy Buckner of Harvard University discovered that introverts tended to have larger, thicker gray matter in their prefrontal cortex — a region of the brain that is linked to abstract thought and decision-making — while extroverts had less gray matter.”

Get Less Energy From People: Most of us feel that our traits are a blend of both introverts and extroverts, but one of the most common trait seen among introverts is that of getting less energy from the ambience around. To a certain extent, all of us experience this sometime or the other.

For some people it’s a cakewalk when it comes to striking a small talk with random people at a party and getting along with them. But, this exhausts a lot more energy than it actually should, as it takes a bit of effort from an individual perspective to seem interested when he is not. Additional effort is required to maintain a level of poise when you are not completely comfortable with the person you are speaking to.

Generally introverts enjoy having deep and more involved type of conversations, but the fear of being judged holds them back from starting a conversation.   

Want to be around people but not every time: It’s a human psychology that one loves to be around people with whom he/she is comfortable and avoids people where an individual feels uncomfortable. If you want to share something and the people out there are least bothered about it or if you know that you won’t be understood, it then becomes a waste of both time and energy. Also, we find instances where individuals, who love the company of people, feel compelled to be engrossed in their phones or on the computer. This could be because it is a non-verbal interaction and people generally watch what entertains them. That’s nothing less than a jigsaw puzzle created by technology which is yet to be solved.

Enjoy attention, but not too much: It’s quite easy when you set up a party, because the people around are familiar. But the problem is when things start getting awkward or uncomfortable with too much attention on and you are expected to do almost everything right. At this instance, the worm named ‘Judgement’ actually creeps in and unsettles a person.

Want to share ideas, but not at the cost of being judged: The concept of introvert and extrovert is greatly dictated by our environment. It becomes difficult to express ideas or converse when one knows that the people around do not share the similar point of view as he/she does. Generally humans tend to be afraid of being judged as they do not wish to be accused of anything negative. When you know that the other person is an introvert, it is better to initiate a conversation on the topic that the person enjoys as it gives an impression that you are interested in the same topic as well. This eases the nerves and fear of being judged as the conversation seems to happen between two like-minded people.

Break out of the shell when you feel safe: Sounds familiar, isn’t it? It’s a human tendency to speak out the mind when in comfort zone. But, when the environment gets chaotic or stressful or when out of the comfort zone, we enter the survival mode expecting the things to just pass by so that we can be in our zone ASAP. Many people get depressed, go crazy, act insane and do all sorts of things possible thinking there’s something wrong with them, while it is the environment that is not in their support. If you feel you are a shy introvert wanting to break out of your shell, surround yourself with loving people and not with people who make you feel stressed and then breaking out of the shell will come naturally to you.

Let people know about your style, that your behavior fluctuations are not about them, just about you needing to manage energy. Be realistic about your needs. When you need to recharge, don’t feel guilty stepping away. You’ll be more useful and nice to be around when you return. And when you’re in the mood to talk out loud, say that these are early thoughts and that you’re tossing them out. On the other hand, if you need time to think before responding, say so. People will be less confused, and will make fewer wrong assumptions about your intent. Ultimately, we are the culmination of our experiences. This goes to show that, often times, society moulds us more than we care to realize.

The truth is, personality goes way beyond a simple label, but having some understanding about the different traits can help you to understand yourself and others better and perhaps make you more successful in your daily life.

“We fear rejection, want attention, crave affection and dream of perfection.”